If you have a younger sister graduating from high school and going off to college but you are concerned about her getting sexually assaulted but still need to buy her a graduation present, here’s what you need to do:
1. Dress up as an FBI or Secret Service agent and have your portrait taken. Don’t smile.
2. Frame the photo.
3. Write a message on the picture which would serve as a congratulatory note to your sister as well as a warning to potential rapists.
4. Buy a rape whistle for your sister to wear around her neck.
5. Bedazzle the whistle with sequins and jewels so that it matches your sister’s wardrobe. Label it so strangers aren’t confused and mistake your sister for a gym teacher.